The First Pancake Always Sucks. Embrace the Suck.
It may look crappy, but it’s still a tasty pancake. Practise makes sexier pancakes.
So, I have re-discovered what an AMAZING procrastinator I truly am when push comes to shove. I thought I had beaten it out of me in university after one too many all-nighters and the outcome of a very mediocre paper and catching a nasty cold after. But here it still, rearing its ugly head once again. So I am taking the proverbial bull by the horn and eff it, writing about the discomfort of it all.
Doing something for the first time.
My first post.
Only took 2.5 years to do. (Frankly, much longer, but I won’t go there right now). This is about me being comfortable enough with the discomfort of putting something out there into the interwebs that is imperfect, maybe even shitty. But the practice of “letting it go”, and trying something, flaws and all, is more important and more valuable than sitting in the dark and waiting for something “perfect” to evolve before ever “putting it out there”.
What is it with us adults? As a kid, I would try something new without even thinking, and suck at it until I got good, (if that moment came…with baseball that day didn’t come…I stayed in the full throes of mediocrity). As children, we aren’t so bothered by the fear of the suck. Think of a toddler learning to walk, learning how to swim, learning how to ride a bike, trying your first recipe, learning how to play a new game or sport. As children, we are just so hungry to try things and learn them. We don’t judge ourselves nearly as much as we do in adulthood. Children give themselves permission for the suck.
As adults, many of us won’t even ATTEMPT stuff that we THINK we may suck at…even if we’ve NEVER EVER tried it before. What’s up with that dose of crazy? Why are we so completely judgmental and UNWILLING to fail or suck? (That’s another post-worthy conversation, but I’m going to leave you to contemplate that one for now….)
Why do we stop allowing ourselves to be okay with the suck when we try something new?
An objet d’art by yours truly….not good or beautiful in any conventional way….but satisfying for me to make.
Here’s a CAT fact: The first pancake always sucks.
You amateur cooks out there may know what I mean. The first pancake you throw down on the grill or pan is usually lopsided, overcooked, burnt, whatever. It’s not perfect. (See Gilmore Girls reference below). Once you start making them, and make a bunch, the latter ones are always the better-looking ones. But you don’t make beautiful ones until you figure out what you need to do with the first few. You have to practice and make adjustments (the temperature, amount of butter or oil, type of pan and heat distribution, amount of batter, how to pour the batter, etc.) to achieve the ‘perfect pancake’. You learn and improve from your mistakes. And mistakes my dear friend, are the teacher-minions of this planet. They are everywhere, and ready to help you in their weird freaky little way.
And as if there’s a perfect pancake! Taste and appearance IS definitely subjective. “Perfection” is really dependent on perspective, taste, culture, experience, preferences, etcetera…. and we are all flawed humans anyways. Perfection is subjective. Ask any perfectionist-in-recovery. What does ‘perfect’ looks like to you? It might be very different for you than others, even in your personal circles.….
So I challenge you to consider something a little more loving and compassionate.
What about damn good? Is damn good, good enough, for you? Because, damn good, is DAMN good. Hell, it might even be perfect to you. I still remember the conversation I had with a surgeon friend of mine. He was a believer in the 80% solution (complete the task to an 80% level, a solid good enough) rather than always attempting the perfect, precise 100% level. He said in surgery once his finished his job (80%), he would try and make things ‘ 100% perfect’—fix other little issues he saw outside his specific scope of work. And often enough he noticed that trying to make everything ‘perfect’ ended up causing more complications. Trying to create a 100% job instead of the 80% solution wasn’t worth the problems that last 20% effort caused. I thought, “…shit, well if a surgeon understands the value of ‘good enough’, why can’t I allow myself that same courtesy?”. To be clear, I don’t mean, don’t give a shit, I mean don’t get paralyzed in the minutiae. The payoff or return is not necessarily worth the extra effort, especially if it prevents you from moving forward or trying something new.
Consider the concept of the 80% solution. Do a project to 80% completion and then let it fly. It’s good enough. And good enough is enough!
What is your first pancake in your life that you haven’t allowed yourself to “put out there”?
The fact of the matter is that we ALL need practise to get truly good at something.
Malcolm Gladwell researched it and says 10 000 hours…and now you get me. We need to work at sh*t to get good at it. No short cuts. It’s consistent and habitual efforts to get truly ‘good’ at something.
That idea of hours is not there to impede us, but I think it’s an accurate reflection of what it takes to achieve mastery. It’s not elusive, it’s not genetic, it’s f*cking work habits. Of course, some of us might have more ‘natural’ skill or talent at some things, but natural ability will only take you so far. The rest is work habits. Period.
So, what I’ve found personally is some things I can dive into and not think twice about in terms of learning, yet other things are effing paralyzing to push towards because there is so much mind f*ckery (fear, inferiority complex, core values formed as a child that no longer serve me, self-deprecation, impostor syndrome….you get the picture) to sort through that impede my comfort with PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE.
“...skill is acquired through discipline. ”
But you need to take that first step.
That first, messy, garbage step.
And then another. And then another step.
So you get to witness my first step on the blogosphere. The messy, burnt first pancake. Maybe that pancake is oblong and crusty…but it’s still tasty…to some. And to me. Because I did it.
And that’s good enough for me. For today.
Amen. (Pontification over).
You’re welcome.
“ A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ”
So, celebrate the messiness of life.
And celebrate your first pancake.
Instead of thinking, fearing, and delaying it…You just do it. And then it’s done. And each step makes you better at it. And that is effing exciting.
It takes time to climb the mountain.
Because the view is awesome. Truly spectacular.
Some other inspirational sh*t to riff on:
