Winter: Cracking the Code (a.k.a. learning how to embrace winter and not hate the sh*it out of it).

I am a true child of the summer.  Whether or not it is a result of being born in the late summer, I am absolutely influenced by and in love with the sun. I literally will move myself with my work around the house to where the ‘best sun’ is throughout the day. I notice anxiety and depression set in when I don’t get a habitual dose of sunshine. My mood is often dependent on the type of daily weather I experience. When I can, I schedule meetings and events outside sunny days so I can maximise my outside time when the sun is brightest.

As you may have figured out, during the winter months when the seasons change and the sunlight hours are reduced significantly, I experience SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder. HARD. Like full on grief, loss, depression, and longing. Does any of this sound familiar? Each year is a little different, but I’ve had several challenging winters—just trying to cope and function. I feel like a completely different person in the winter, to the point where I didn’t even recognize myself, my behaviour changes so much.  This is a challenging thing to combat, especially living in Canada, where the cold and winter is a solid five plus months of the year.

Does any of this sound familiar?  It has taken me many years, supplement trials, light boxes, exercise, a multitude of trial and error tactics to figure out a routine that makes life in winter less painful and grief-filled. And I still continue the journey. That said, my experience in this pandemic year especially has had some true gains, and as I continue to experiment, I realise I may have finally cracked the code for the winter blues.

Interested in learning more?

I’m going to share with you the ideas that I’ve researched, trialled and adopted. Use what you connect with, and know that the other ideas might be worth trying down the line to add to your own personal toolbox.  I’ve tried things this year I NEVER would have even considered in previous times, and the result was surprisingly positive— mindblowing actually. So for me, lesson learned. You don’t know what you don’t know. And once you learn, life changes for the better.

First, let’s investigate winter.

What happens in the winter to animals and nature around us?  It slows down. Many animals go into hibernation. Plant life dies back or lies dormant, storing energy until the planet starts to rebirth itself in spring. We see animals slow down activity, conserve energy, and some even sleep for months on end.

So if we acknoweldge our evolution with our natural world, and mirror the cycle of our natural environment, winter, essentially, is a time to slow down, take a lighter pace, conserve energy, and spend this quieter time in reflection and restoration.

Doesn’t that sound absolutely delicious? But that’s not what the humans do! Instead, we are adrift in time spent running around, buying things, planning parties, creating tasks and social activities, building to a resounding final crescendo that peaks at New Year’s eve at midnight. Come January we are exhausted, spent, and burnt out to ring in the new year.

Why the fuck do we do that? Well, we could write a laundry list on that question, but I’ll say consumerism and social expecations are some of the heavy hitters on those brutal habits and expectations.

So here I am writing, a day past the winter solstice, ringing it in with open arms, to a time of quiet and reflection and simplicity….and I’m madly stoked.  It’s a real paradigm shift for me. And maybe my past self woudn’t have embraced it, but that’s okay because it’s all a damn journey, and i’m enjoying where I’m going.

My struggle with all of the difficulty that winter brings needed to change.

I was literally forced (by covid) to sit on my ass and figure this thing out. I’ve made some valuable strides and want to share them with you. Here’s the shorthand:

(1) Rethink and Reframe your perspective on winter (ha ha, right? But seriously—it’s life-changing)

(2) Create tried and true habits for physiological care that will support your mental and physical health, a.k.a. hygge (more on how to integrate hygge habits here) and bring yourself some damn joy!

SO! Let’s address number one in longhand. How you view winter is absolutely CRITICAL to this process. If I believe and judge something to be bad, how can I ever be open to see its benefits from any other lens? I’ve fought this for a while, trying to like winter, but ultimately jumping ship in January or February because, really, it’s not my type and why bother liking something I truly actually abhore? Yeah, this attitude didn’t really work for me, but not until I truly decided to change, did my world and life actually change.

Let me explain another way. I might think spiders are awful disgusting vile creatures, but if i didn’t look further to understand their function in nature, I wouldn’t know that they eat other insects (hello pest control!) and those little dudes construct their webs with a super-strong silk that is stronger than steel or kevlar. That’s pretty effing awesome. And humans still can’t replicate it. So even if I don’t like the look of spiders, I can appreciate their function in nature and the beauty they possess, and the fact they eat other insects that annoy me. So I reframe my perception of them, and decide I don’t hate them or feel fearful of them. Sure, they’re a little creepy to look at, but that’s as far as my distaste goes these days.

Changing my perspective has changed my relationship with spiders. And we can also do that with winter.

So let’s take a dive into understanding winter in a more observational and objective way, aside from current societal and cultural norms.

photo by Nachelle Nocum (via Squarespace)

Can we view winter in a more welcoming framework?

Winter is a time of slow-down. Slow down a little and find a pace that matches your environment.  Look around you and you’ll see lots of evidence of the world in hibernation mode. It’s in its annual period of dormancy, preservation, and conservation. It is the yin cycle of the year. We can’t run at 100% capacity all year round; and by extension, neither do the animals and plants. They have their periods of repose and rejuventation. And we humans could learn from our environment by giving ourselves permission to do the same. It’s actually imperative for our heatlh. It’s why you feel like garbage trying to squeeze the same amount of bustle and activity in a day that you would on a sunny day in June. It’s easy to run from dawn to dusk in the summer because the sun literally energizes us to do so.

The winter is a different beast. I know when the sun goes down, it becomes a major concerted effort to even leave my home.

Sound familiar?

When I get home from work in the dark, often, I am down for the ‘home-hunker’ count. And I don’t fight it anymore. I allow myself to be seasonal because if I don’t, I will live in misery over the winter months (and there’s a lot of those months). It’s taken me years to allow myself this respite. The most important piece here is to validate your own personal experience of winter. We do effectively ‘slow down’. Use this slow down to be an asset and ally for yourself.

How can I reframe slowing down or simplifying to work for me? What activities can I pursue and enjoy in this season of conservation? Will I allow myself more sleep, more family time, opening the books that have been waiting to be read, focus on that activity or project that I’ve been meaning to begin, or make time for self-reflection and restoration?

How can I reframe the tempo and temperature of winter to serve me?

Validate those wintery feelings and the desire to chill out and downshift. It can actually be an ally for you in paring away the activities and obligations you don’t truly enjoy or want to do, and discard them. Use your moderated energy for what you enjoy. You don’t have to fight the social status quo of busy all the time, all year round. It’s not working for us humans anyhow. And as the world economics and culture move to a 24hr/7 day system, where we never disconnect, we will need to preserve our intuitive and inherent state of homeostasis. Our health and survival are dependent on it.

Do things that support a slower pace, and make you feel relaxed, warm, and cozy.

photo by Katie Az (via Squarespace)

This for me was the beginning of the hygge experiment. Create an environment that makes you feel good. Both my spouse and I loved how it made us feel, that we’ve kept and introduced more elements of winter cozy and comfort into our lives each year.  Just today he was commenting on how much he appreciates hygge. He mentioned how it relaxes him after a long day at work, and makes him feel relaxed and calm when he comes home. It’s easier to adjust from the outside darkness, there’s less eye strain,  and the soft lights help him feel peaceful. I wholeheartedly agree. It allows me to mentally downshift. (Think about a romantic restaurant, with dim mood lighting and candlelight on the table—it creates aura and ambience, and you feel privileged experiencing it. Why do you think they can charge so much for that entree? It creates a very different atmosphere than eating at your local McDonalds with those bright-ass lights that overstimulate the brain and body.)

Hygge is a lifestyle concept that Danes (and the Scandanavians) employ in their life throughout the year. It is based on creating meaningful moments and daily happiness. Why I think the concept has become so popular in North America is because the concept of hygge is a reframe of the difficulty and challenges of the winter months. It feels like we blow our proverbial load in December and the next four months become increasingly difficult and intolerable—so who wouldn’t want to change the paradigm?  Especially in a year like 2020, where our mobility is limited, we need to find ways to embrace our current environment so we can survive, and ideally, thrive. 

Hygge offers a way to be present, find comfort in, and embrace the winter months.

To read more on hygge and how to integrate it into your life, see my other articles: What is hygge? A Beginner’s Guide to Living Cozy and Thirty Ways to Add Hygge to Your Life.

Winter has its own beauty and tempo for us to observe and response.